


For a circle mage

by Newagenewbarricade



Series: Alinn/Lyonel [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:31:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4058419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newagenewbarricade/pseuds/Newagenewbarricade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matters of the heart could never go well for two circle mages, unfortunately Alinn and Lyonel learned that too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For a circle mage

Alinn opened his eyes and immediately regretted it, he felt like a demon was clawing at his skull. He let out a pained grunt before realizing Jowan was talking to him,

“Oh shit, how long have I been out?” Alinn asked, sitting up to face Jowan.

“A few hours, so what was it like?” Jowan seemed anxious, not that Alinn could really blame him. He was tired and just wanted to go back to sleep for a few more hours or maybe a day or two.

“They sent me into the fade.” Alinn said a hand on his forehead.

“Oh is that all?” Jowan sounded almost disappointed.

“And I had to fight a demon, you know no biggie.” Alinn was rather annoyed that Jowan wasn’t taking the hint that he really didn’t want to be conscious right this moment.

“I suppose that makes sense, they want to make sure we won’t get possessed by a demon or anything.”

“Yeah, is that all you wanted to talk about?” Alinn’s head was pounding and he wasn’t entirely sure he could actually stand.

Alinn was only partially present for the rest of his conversation with Jowan, he knew it was important to reassure his friend that he wouldn’t be made tranquil but the sheer amount of pain he was in was quite distracting. Once Jowan had left Alinn was about to let himself fall back onto his bed and try to get some more sleep when Lyonel came over to him and pulled him into a vice like hug.

“I thought they were going to kill you.” He mumbled into Alinn’s shoulder.

It took Alinn a moment to process what Lyonel had just said, when it hit him he nuzzled his lover’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around him as well.

“I waited up all night, then when they brought you back I realized you must’ve made it, you’re safe.”

“Well, safer.” Alinn said.

Lyonel didn’t say anything else, he just held Alinn a bit longer.

“Soon they’ll call you for your harrowing.” Alinn said once Lyonel finally let him go.

“I think I’m a bit too libertarian for them.” Lyonel said.

“They harrowed me.” Alinn pointed out.

“Yes but you are a master of keeping your political opinions quiet, I however am not.” His hand phantomed in front of Alinn’s face, apprehensive. Alinn leaned into his hand.

“I’m really tired, but Irving wants to see me.”

“I could tell him you need your rest.” Lyonel offered.

Alinn shook his head as he pushed himself up from the bed, he was staggering slightly, Lyonel reached out and steadied him,

“You sure you should be up?”

“I’ll be alright, he probably just wants to congratulate me then I’ll go back to sleep.” Alinn was leaning on Lyonel as they walked into the main hall.

“I can do this.” Alinn said as he began to walk away from Lyonel.

Lyonel looked like he was about to say something but he changed his mind,

“I’ll be here.” He said.

Alinn made his way to Irving’s chambers, all he really remembered was saying some low level sass about his phylactery and walking a Grey Warden back to his quarters.

“It was an honor to meet you Duncan.” Alinn said, he may not have been fully paying attention to what he was doing but he had a great amount of respect for the order, it was also one of the few that accepted mages and elves as equals. But Alinn knew he was far too young for the order to ever consider him. He was going to go back to the dorms and sleep, maybe Lyonel would join him and they would just cuddle for once.

No sooner had he left Duncan’s quarters than Jowan was telling him he had to come to the chantry with him. Alinn wanted to collapse to the floor and tell Jowan he needed to solve his own problems today but instead he plastered on his ‘everything is fine’ smile and followed him to the chantry.

When Alinn walked up the stairs Lyonel bit his lip, he still hadn’t been able to say it. He could’ve lost Alinn last night, it certainly seemed like he would when those Templars came in and ripped him out of his bed, throwing a bag over his head to muffle his protests. Lyonel had been awoken by the struggle, he hadn’t been able to do anything, one apprentice versus four armed Templars was a recipe for disaster. So instead, he waited he sat up the entire night dreading when Alinn would be nothing more than another apprentice who vanished in the middle of the night. He shuddered at the thought, his Alinn would never be a nameless victim of Templar cruelty, not while he still lived. Lyonel was shocked at himself his Alinn he’d never thought like that before, he’d never felt such a desire to keep someone safe until he saw Alinn dragged away by Templars.

Lyonel was sitting on Alinn’s bed, the tranquils had already taken a majority of his things to the mage quarters. Lyonel was vaguely aware that he and Alinn would be rather far apart until Lyonel went for his harrowing. He overheard a group run by the doors outside but he didn’t pay them any mind, probably some children playing. He traced his fingers over one of the grooves in Alinn’s bed, it was clearly fingernail marks. Lyonel was thinking back to when Alinn might’ve made these marks. Then he remembered. It was during Alinn’s nonverbal period, he had the worst nightmares, the only time he spoke was after those nightmares and even then it was just Dania or Danya over and over again Lyonel wasn’t sure what or who that was and Alinn hadn’t said anything about that in quite some time.

Lyonel kept waiting for Alinn to come back, in the meantime he had gone back to his old habit of writing in the old book he’d managed to bring to the circle when he’d been taken. He reread one of his entries from a few years back: Alinn laughed today, I don’t think I’ve seen him smile that much in all the time he’s been here. It’s nice to see he isn’t shutting down like I’ve seen some others, like I have.

He smiled as he remembered the incident like it was yesterday, he forgot what exactly had prompted the smile but Alinn’s face lighting up as he let out a genuine laugh had enraptured Lyonel. He read another passage, this one was a bit more recent: If anyone hurts him I will destroy them, or just make sure they never do it again with —— if I have to.

Lyonel completely crossed out that passage, with the rumor going around about an apprentice being a blood mage he didn’t need his near confession falling into the wrong hands. He read his most recent entry, the one he’d written while trying to stay awake last night: They took him, they took him and there’s nothing I can do about it. Maker’s ass I never even, does he know how much he means to me? What if he die- no no he won’t die, he’s stronger than that. But what if? If he makes it I have to tell him, tell him I love him. I know we both said that emotions were a bad idea while we were both un-harrowed and therefore on the list for possibly being made tranquil but andraste’s tits I love him and if he never knows that I will burn this tower to the ground. Please don’t die Alinn, I need you.

Lyonel heard a commotion outside, someone threw open the doors to the apprentice quarters,

“Jowan’s gone apostate! And Surana’s a warden!” A mage yelled as she ran off to presumably tell more of the tower the latest news.

Lyonel felt his stomach drop, Jowan wasn’t cut out to be on the run from Templars, Alinn he could see making it but Jowan… He’d be dead within the week. He placed his book back under his mattress and walked out into the hallway, it was all anyone was talking about.

“So did ya know Jowan was a blood mage?” an apprentice, no more than fifteen asked.

“I knew he was sleeping with a chantry sister but the blood magic was a twist.” He responded coldly.

He was bombarded with questions and accusations, his skin was boiling, his lover and his best friend were now both gone.

“Enough! Just leave me be for five minutes would you please?” Lyonel went back to the apprentice quarters, he buried himself under the blankets hoping everything would be okay, or at least circle levels of okay when he awoke.

It most certainly wasn’t any easier when he awoke. The next week was the most agonizing since he’d come to the circle. All eyes were on him, not even just the Templars anymore, now it was everyone. They wanted to see what the final member of the trio ended up being, perhaps he’d become an abomination just to spice things up a bit. He was always trying to find out how things were going at Ostagar, he had even been brave enough to ask if there was any letters for him. If there were he was never given them. He wrote one to Alinn but didn’t bother sending it, instead he kept it in his robes, in case Alinn ever came back for recruiting or anything else, then he could just shove it in his hands and know it wouldn’t be taken or censored by anyone.

Dear Alinn,

Or should I say “warden Surana” I was never quite sure on those matters of titles, I was shitty nobility. Regardless, things have been hard since you left. I really do miss you, nights aren’t really the same when I know you won’t be crawling into bed with me. I find my hands are rather empty without yours in them. I also can never do my braid like you could. I miss you so much. I hope you’re enjoying your freedom, no I really really do. Go out there and live, live for me, live for Jowan for all of us. Go get absolutely shit faced at a pub, go get into a bar fight with some chantry apologist. Also if you ever get the opportunity promise me you’ll watch a sunrise from a hilltop, I know you’ll think it’s magnificent. I hope you get a chance to visit your family again ma vhenan. That is the right word right? I hope it is, if not then I hope the meaning was clear enough. I hope the battle goes well, or went well depending on when you get this. I love you, always have always will. I was going to tell you when you were harrowed but the words just didn’t come and I apologize, you should’ve known sooner. I love you. I love you so so much sometimes it actually hurts. My heart aches for you but I am also so happy you’re finally free from the Templars. Maybe one day we will be together again, until then be the brave warrior I’ve always known you to be my love. I love you, did I say that already? It’s very important that you know that.

Yours,

Lyonel Amell

He told no one about the letter, he had re-written it so many times and each time he burned the failure so no one would ever see them. This letter was for Alinn and Alinn alone. Several days after he’d finally mastered it Uldred had returned from Ostagar with the news, the battle was a disaster, the wardens betrayed the king and were all killed. The words echoed in Lyonel’s mind, all the wardens were killed.

Lyonel couldn’t feel anything. He was nothing but rage. He remembered the sound of distant screaming and the sharp smell of smoke. Then everything just felt, no it didn’t feel. Everything was clear and cold. Everything was concise and there was no more of that heaviness. Lyonel wasn’t even sure how he had managed back when he had all those confusing feelings. Everything just happened. He still had the letter, he didn’t know why it mattered but Alinn was supposed to have it.

Lyonel spent his time organizing the Library. A girl saw him one day and began to cry,

“Does my presence upset you madam? I can go to another part of the library and work if you want.”

“No, no I’m sorry. You get back to what you were doing I just, I’ll just be going.” The girl wiped her eyes on her sleeve before leaving for another part of the library. Lyonel knew her, Victorhea Surana. He went back to organizing the spirit healing section.

Things got rather disorderly soon after that. He was trapped with a few other tranquil. He heard fighting, there was blood all over and there was a lot of yelling. All in all an uncomfortable situation. The spell keeping him trapped was released and he fell to the ground, someone helped him up.

“Thank you, that was an uncomfortable situation.” He said. He saw who had helped him up, it was Alinn. He looked different, stubble and covered in blood. He had a brief but vivid memory, a letter, something about a letter it was very important.

“It’s very important that you have this. I don’t remember why.” Lyonel gently shoved the paper into Alinn’s hand. Alinn’s eyes scanned the paper. He was crying, he was visibly upset.

“Is something wrong?” Lyonel asked.

Alinn pulled him into a hug, Lyonel felt something sharp.

“Why did you make me promise?” Alinn sobbed.

Lyonel furrowed his brows as he looked down at the growing red stain on his robes.

“Was the letter not to your liking?” He asked.

Alinn turned away from him, shoulders shaking as he sobbed.

Lyonel fell to the ground. The stone was cool but slightly sticky. He felt himself fading, it was odd but not entirely uncomfortable.

Alinn trembled as he heard Lyonel fall to the ground, he was too late to save the one mage who really mattered. They had been doomed from the start, this just proved to Alinn that nothing could ever go right for a circle mage.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually pretty proud of this one, I plan on writing more about these two who knows maybe one day I'll write something happy about them. eh probably not. Any and all feedback is appreciated!


End file.
